| August 10, 2003 | Chris Cook | |
| Job 1-2 | What Follows Pain |
The last year and eight months have included some of the hardest times of my life. In this time I have been challenged by many events around me to stay positive, and affirm my belief in God. I have read and thought about so many things. I have tried my best to come to some kind of understanding. I am trying my best to come to some kind of understanding. Today I will share with you one thing that I have realized.
However, before I begin sharing my own thoughts, I will talk to you about one specific piece of work that I recently read. It is the book in the Bible which I took both scripture readings from today, the Book of Job.
For those of you who do not know the book of Job, its name comes from the main character of the story. The author of the piece is anonymous, and the name Job, so far as anyone can deduce, has nothing to do with the author. The book of Job is particularly famous for questioning the reasons for suffering, especially the suffering of people who love God and are good. A topic many of us, including myself, can relate to.
The story begins by pointing out that Job was a man who stood "blameless and upright." (Job 1: 1) He was such a great man that even God used him as a prototype for human action, saying to Satan, "there is no one on earth like him." Though what God said of Job may have been true, Satan believed there was a good reason for Job's character. And so he challenged God.
Satan believed that since God had protected Job and rewarded him with so much, Job's faith was conditional. Surely, Satan thought, if Job lost all the things he held dear to his heart, his faith would collapse. Satan said to God, "Stretch out your hand and strike everything he has and he will surely curse you to your face." (Job 1:10 - 11) God was confident in Job's faith and agreed to Satan's challenge. God said, "take everything he has of worth and value to him, but on the man himself do not lay a finger." (Job 1:12) Satan then went out into the world and destroyed Job's family and farm. Killing his sons and his daughters, his oxen and his donkeys.
To the chagrin of Satan, Job did not budge. After hearing what had happened to the things he held dear to his heart, Job stood up, shaved his head and worshiped. He said, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." (Job 1:21) Job's faith had not been ruined like Satan expected.
After God saw this display of Job's faith, God said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? He still maintains his integrity though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason." (Job 2: 3) Satan agreed that Job persisted through his first challenge but he was not convinced Job's faith was insurmountable. Satan believed that since Job had only suffered the loss of things close to him, and he had not suffered pain to his direct physical being, Job's faith had not really been tested. He again challenged God and said, "Stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face." (Job 2:5) God was confident in Job's faith and agreed to Satan's challenge. God said, "do what you want to him, but you must spare him his life." (Job 2:6) So Satan went out and "afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head." (Job 2:7)
Job had now lost his ten children and his wealth. He also sat with sores on his entire body. His wife even came to him questioning how he could remain faithful. She said, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!" (Job 2:9) In his steadfastness Job replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) Job's faith again had not been ruined like Satan had expected.
For the rest of the book, Job struggles to find peace after his pain. Like many of us, Job experienced events that hurt. He experienced loss and questioned why they had to happen. He was challenged by the events around him to stay positive and affirm his faith. He believed in God, but just because he believed, did not mean that he felt any better about losing his family or his wealth, or having sores on his entire body.
As Job sat in his pain he realized one thing about the world. He had not done anything more wrong than anyone else, yet he suffered so much pain. We can see him struggle with this idea clearly in the first scripture reading today. Job wished he could talk to God and ask him if there are any charges so terrible against him that would cause him to deserve such harsh treatment. The way the world treated him, just seemed so unfair.
As Job continued to look for a life that was going to follow his pain, his greatest pain reliever arrived. In the second scripture reading God asked Job a series of questions which only show how great God is. When God finished, Job concluded that God is simply too great to understand, to infinite to fathom. Job understood that he needed to have faith and believe that God really knows what he is doing. As Job realized the magnificence of God, his pain lessened.
I mentioned already that the last 18 months have included some of the hardest times of my life. The fact that they have been tough is probably why I have approached the topic a couple of times already in this sermon and then started to talk about something else.
For those of you who do not know where I am in my life, this past May I completed my freshman year of college. Two Decembers ago, halfway through my senior year, pain grabbed me again.
I woke up Monday December 17th 2001, for school like any other day. I showered and got ready. Then the phone rang. My mother soon told me that a girl I had dated the year before, and who I remained friendly with, had taken her life. I had known she suffered from depression, but it did not make it any easier to handle. When someone you know takes their own life, you cannot avoid thinking about their choice constantly. When you don't fill up with anger at them, you become angry at everyone who didn't help, including yourself. Before I had a chance to come to terms with her death, another was knocking at my brain.
Within weeks, I was taking days off from school to visit my mother's mother in the hospital. Doctors couldn't really seem to figure out what was going on. She had a history of heart problems, but whenever the doctors thought they had it figured out, another problem would pop up. In April, one day before school, I was awakened by my mother to find out that my grandmother had died. The same woman who only 24 hours earlier told me to live life to the fullest, and have as much fun as possible was gone.
In June of 2002 I graduated high school. In the fall I set off for college. By November I was set on transferring. About this time it became fairly obvious that my Dad's mother was losing the battle against leukemia. She would have a good week, and then she would have a bad week. This cycle continued throughout the semester. I moved out of my dorm the week before finals so that I could study at home. A few days before I was set to return to school, my Dad told me, as I walked back in from church one Sunday, that his mother died. It was exactly a year to the day after my first and only significant encounter with suicide. Shortly following the funeral I returned to Dickinson to finish my finals. I then packed my things up and moved back home. I started a semester of exploration at Stony Brook University this January
Two and a half weeks into the semester at Stony Brook, I received my first phone call from my best friend at Dickinson. She had bad news. A friend and hall mate from first semester had died after falling off the roof of the dorm building we had lived in. The news shook me. I went to the funeral in Providence and could hardly bare to look at the faces of my friends who I knew would have to go on living in the dorm, recalling all the memories of Jeff. I was just thankful that I had left.
On the way home from Providence I remember thinking that God had set some kind of target on my head. I wanted to know why any of this happened. Like Job I believed in God, but this did not make me hurt less. Like Job I realized that though I had not done anything more wrong than anyone else, yet I felt like I suffered more. Like Job, I wanted to talk to God and ask him if I did anything to deserve my pain. I felt like I had learned the lesson "that life is short, don't waste it," enough times. I never really became angry though, just tired of the pain. It was all just so unfair.
I could go on from here very easily to tell you about how many times I experienced empty moments when pain and confusion hung so thick in the air I breathed that I just felt trapped. I could tell you how many times, but like many of you who have experienced something bad, I would struggle to tell you exactly what bothered me, or how all my pain seemed so interconnected. But doing this would only show you that I too have suffered. I want to talk about something different. I want to share with you the things that have helped me. Not the things that didn't.
Specifically, I want to share the one thing that helped me find peace. Job came to peace when he realized that God was too great, too infinite to understand. Like Job, I came to peace for similar reasons. Since, I have thought that the times I feel the greatest are the time when I realize just how small I am.
Last summer I went to the beach with a friend after we attended the wake
of a teacher of ours' son. We stopped by the beach to catch the sunset for
some peace and quiet. While we were there it occurred to us that there were
many other people at the beach just watching. They each came with their
own set of problems and their own set of experiences. Still, they sat there
and watched this beautiful amazing wonder take place with a similar peace.
I guess I realized at that moment that millions of people suffer each day
all around the world. However each night, right before dark millions of
people will sit and relax in peace gazing at the beautiful amazing wonder
our creator gave each and every one of us.